I long for older times when thirteen-year-old girls were thought marriageable women and could be dead in childbirth at fifteen. That short, intense life could be richer than dreams of roses, but I'm expected to live a long time and not to discover my sexual self for many more years... maybe when I'm twenty-one it's supposed to happen... and at thirteen that seems like another century.In the stormy evening when our families go off to bed one by one, leaving us to lantern light and the fire burning down to glowing ashes, our eyes want to meet and detonate the charged air. But we are both suddenly afraid of something, so we agree without words to dance. His fingers at my waist feel like misplaced coals, and when the phonograph winds slowly to a stop, neither of us moves to restart it. The rushing of the rain water down the dry gullies outside is now very loud. All the earth's messages seem to tell us to come together, and our eyes finally engage in that long-deferred glance.But there. What was I thinking? This was our first date! Of course he should be a gentleman, and I should be a lady. We should keep it simple and safe, and go to a movie after dinner. Maybe hold hands. Maybe end the evening at the door of his room with a nice kiss. Despite the attraction I was feeling, despite the sexual heat that was making me just a bit damp between my legs. Damn, my body had never responded to a guy this way this quickly before. It was a half hour drive to the restaurant where we were meeting Warren and Sharon. On the way, Charles and I did the small talk thing, how many kids we had, where we’d gone to school, what we thought of our jobs, and so on. He did more talking than I did, but that was fine with me, he was entertaining to listen to, had a great sense of humor, and had led a far more interesting life than I had. Besides, being silent, I didn’t have to worry about saying anything that might betray the thoughts that were racing through my head. We arrived at the.
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